I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
