It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
