he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize