I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
