Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
the liver wants what the liver wants
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
