But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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