just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
