If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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