So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
