He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I love you.
Bad choice
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
