i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
