he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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