Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
