...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
