so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
