whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
