wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
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please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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