i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
