Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
