I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize