I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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