he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
