Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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