I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
