he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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