Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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