piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
