She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
