is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
