Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You dont lie about slip and slides
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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