i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
