ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
