I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
