so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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