you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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