We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
