Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I touched a dick in church today
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
