Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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