K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
