I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
