Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
