you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Say something about gay babies.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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