It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
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I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
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I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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