i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
