Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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