she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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