In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
