so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
