You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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