smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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