no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize