Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
