i think my tv is drunk
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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