He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
