look no pants
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize