So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
