Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
