I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
