I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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