stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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