I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
