I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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