battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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