The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
