the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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