I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
