1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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