I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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