Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
